Latest Posts

TOO BUSY HELPING TO HELP

I’ve noticed something recently that disturbs me.  It’s something I’ve seen in myself and in some of my colleagues.  It seems we get too busy helping people to help people.  Let me explain this…I work in the social sector, my mission is to fight global injustices, to help realize a reduction in poverty, to battle the lack of financial inclusion, to help nonprofits operate at full capacity.  So I guess you could say my career is devoted to “doing good.”  But what does all that matter if I get so wrapped up in the “good” that I fail to help someone standing right in front of me?

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been able to speak to a lot of students around the country.  They ask great questions and challenge my own thinking.  And they often ask for some advice, for help in connecting with like-minded people, for any contacts I have that could be helpful.  That’s great, I’m happy to help.  But do I always follow through?  ”Shoot me an email,” I’ll say.  ”I’ll send you some information or connect you to this person or that org.”  Sure, my intentions are worthy, but then “doing good” gets in the way again.  Maybe I’ll reply and send them a link or say I’ll spend some time thinking about it.  But do I really engage?

Whether students I’ve spoken to face-to-face, friends of friends, or someone I don’t even know, I often get questions in my inbox.  And I genuinely do try and reply, but I’ll admit my responses aren’t always too helpful.  Sometimes I’m just trying to buy time or even do the ‘ol brush-off.

But here’s the thing, aren’t these people with questions the ones who really count?  They’re the future leaders, the movers, the ones who will be taking anything I’m working on or researching today so much further than I ever can.  It will be their ideas partnered with ours that could change the future of the world.  Engaging matters.

And I’ll be honest, I still experience this phenomenon from the other side as well.  I’ll email someone I’ve met but don’t know well, or even someone I’ve never met.  Sometimes they don’t ever respond, sometimes they do but I get the feeling they don’t really have time for me.  It doesn’t feel that great.  I know they’re busy “doing good,” too.  

But does there come a point that helping people doesn’t matter so much if we’re not taking the time to help people?  None of us can possibly respond to every email with a life-altering word or connection, but we can make an effort.  I can tell you one thing, those people who have genuinely helped me and taken time for me – even when they don’t have it – will never fade form my memory.

So it’s not about trying to solve every person’s problems or spending all our time responding to requests.  It’s about being present, making the effort  to help people while we’re helping people.  I vow to try harder at this, to genuinely think about the questions I get, to simply care in the moment.  I know how it feels to be on the other side, so I want to get better in this area, to engage with intentionality.